Homemaking

So yesterday I found this blog.

http://passionateandcreativehomemaking.blogspot.com

Just by reading her bio I think we might be kindred spirits. Yesterday she had an interesting post about homemaking styles. She asked her readers to answer a few questions about how it looks in our house. I'm feeling like this is a good area to annalyze about myself so I will take her challenge. But if you want to go and read her post first, mine will probably make more sense. Here is the link to her thoughts on the subject.

http://passionateandcreativehomemaking.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-kind-of-homemaker-are-you-link-up.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FprHKLK+%28*%29

Here is the questions she asked:

So...what does homemaking look like in your house? Share it with us!
- Who cooks?
- Who cleans?
- How does your average day look?
- What chore do you hate doing the most?
- What do you struggle with the most?
- What do you exceed at?

So I wanted to define homemaking real quick and what it means to me. First I simply switch it around to say Making Home. In order to make your home the best it can be you need to be well balanced and have good time management. Two things I struggle with on a daily basis.

#1) I would have to say homemaking looks chaotic in my house unless you are a guest that I don't feel comfortable around. If I don't know you too well I will usually pick up the house before you get there. But if you are a good friend or family member it totally depends on the day and week.

#2) I usually cook unless I decide to slack off and put my husband in charge. Last year we were in a marraige enrichment class that our church provides and one of the exercises had us write down an area that was important to you but that your spouse was slacking off in. I learned that it is very important for my husband to come home and have dinner ready. He is hungry and the kids are hungry and he does not like to come home to a chaotic house being expected to cook while kids are whinning.

This is something I am still working on. I'm not a fantastic cook and I'm extremely lazy. The meal will usually depend on which pots are clean and how much time I have. Since he got a new job that is farther away my success rate has improved because he will call me as he's leaving work which means I have a good 45 minutes to make dinner. But there are those days that I just can't handle it, either my brain is fried and I can't even follow a simple rice-a-roni box recipe (usually because of stress for something else I'm working on) or I'm really sick or tired and just don't want to be bothered. But these days have been far apart lately. So usually Saturdays and Sundays are the only days he might cook a meal.

#3) Cleaning... well growing up I was the youngest, I always got the easy chores. I was never really taught how to deep clean things and if I was, I wasn't forced to do it very often (if ever). I am blessed to have a husband that doesn't mind doing housework and helping me out. He grew up with a great work ethic and knows what has to be done (and he loves me a lot). I usually have him to everything I don't want to do. This is a big stumbling block in my progression towards a better homemaker. I don't feel capable and I have no motivation and he is always there to pick up the slack. I am slowly improving by trying to step up my actions so he doesn't feel like everything falls on him. We used to have an agreement that I would do the dishwasher dishes and he would do all the big pots and everything else that needed hand washed. But last year at some point I grew up a little bit more and decided I could handle all the dishes. And last week I scrubbed my own shower something I have never done before (maybe once as a teenager).

#4) My average day is lazy. I have a couple productive days or I might be productive for a couple hours but then I take a break and never really finish. There isn't too much structure in my day either. I have a first grader so there is a specific time he has to be ready for his ride and there is a specific time I need to load up the other 3 and go pick him up. So there is definitely potential for a schedule but it is hard for me to keep. We definitely don't have a major problem with bed time though. We make sure the kids are in bed sometime between 7 and 8 every night so that we can have our alone time. I usually have the TV on for the kids most of the day and I spend a lot of time at the computer or if I have a deadline I am in my craft room. I do host preschool 1-2 times a week but we just do puzzles or other learning games for a couple hours. I recently started getting up while my husband is in the shower (6 am-ish) and I do a short work out routine and then I get in the shower. This makes the morning and the day go so much better. We just need to work on going to bed earlier so that I don't crash for a nap by 9 or 10 am because then the rest of the day is hard.

#5) I would have to say my least favorite chore is dishes because I don't really like getting my hands wet (I know, really lame). But I would much rather wait until the sink is over flowing onto the counter before I dig in because that means that I can spend an hour and get them all done, start the dishwasher and be done for another 2 days than to rinse and load after every meal. This preference drives my mom crazy and every time she comes over she feels like she has to do my dishes for me. I've been trying to do them before she comes but it really just depends on the day. The only bad thing about my habit is if the end of that 2nd day of dishes ends up being really busy it might be 3 or 4 days before I get to it and that causes a major back up in the system. Then it becomes this huge ordeal and it's definitely hard to find the motivation and that is typically when I have to get real creative with dinner because all the pots are dirty. Unfortunately this happens more often than it should but I'm working on it.

Also laundry takes FOREVER and it's hard to get it completed in one day. I already expressed my disdain for deep cleaning. Vacuuming is the one chore I really don't mind. However in order to vacuum that means you have to have a clean floor. 2.5 years ago I was seeing a counselor. I had major anger issues and was sturggling with being a parent. She had me bring the kids to one of the sessions and when it came time to clean up she told me I couldn't do it for them. They had to do it by themselves. She offered them a sucker for when they had finished and they all worked together and got it done quickly. Now I can't offer them candy every time but I have found that when I offer them something it gets done quicker. Later that week it was grapes that did the trick. A couple months ago I offered them 1 goldfish for every 5 toys they picked up. But more often then not I just don't want to bug them about cleaning. They are getting better at it but I usually have to give them specific instructions the whole time which means it's hard for me to be productive doing something else. And if I really am just sitting or standing there slave driving them it doesn't leave good feelings for anyone.

#6) I struggle with knowing when it's ok to have personal time and when I should spend time with my kids. I like spending time on the computer and I love creating things in my craft room but even if those things are going to benefit the kids in the future I need to do them in moderation. I ignore them way too much and they aren't going to be young forever and I wish I had a good method for managing time so that I could have a schedule where 2-4 hours every day were mine but the rest of the day was spent doing things with the kids. Which means I need to be ok with doing things that I don't want to do. Like having an imagination so that I can play dolls with my daughter or being willing to crash and race cars for a half hour straight and other things like that. It's so hard for me to just sit on the floor and play with them when there are a million other things I could be doing. I know they are not as important but it's still hard for me to make the right decisions with my time.

#7) This will be the hardest one for me to answer because I don't feel like I succeed at anything. I do enjoy helping my kids learn. My oldest loves to ask questions and they drive me crazy but lately more often than not I will take the time to answer them (if they are a logical question that has an answer on his level). I worry that my daughter won't learn to ask questions for herself because he always does it for her and she still learns the answer but hopefully she won't fall behind in school like I did because I was too shy to ask questions. I do know how to plan a good party, not so hot on the carry out though. It is usually a crazy stressful day and I am usually preparing the food until an hour into the 2 hour party. But I have been trying to manage time better and set priorities on things. The last one I did ended up being a huge success and I didn't have to cut too much out of my plan because I ended up staying up all night. Looking back it was totally worth it but I will try harder to prepare more ahead of time for the next one.

Let's see what else do I exceed at? I am a great listener. I love talking to adults and I don't mind listening to their problems and being there for people. It's kind of a bummer when I feel like I have no one to turn to but I still enjoy being the listening ear. But that doesn't have much to do with Homemaking. I mentioned I like to do crafts. I'm not incredibly talented or artistic but I guess I could say that I exceed in copying other peoples work. I prefer to make things that are useful. Since I joined pinterest I have a ton of ideas added to my "I will do this some day." list. A lot of them are ideas for gifts or to make another activity for the kids. But I have been resisting the temptation to work on anything lately because I know I need to help the kids with school and keep up the basics of homemaking before I add anything else. However it almost seems pointless because I end up on the computer most of the day anyways. ARGH! I definitely exceed at waisting time.

Ok Angell that is what kind of a homemaker I am. I will look forward to finding encouragement from your blog as I work on all my shortcomings.