Homemaking

So yesterday I found this blog.

http://passionateandcreativehomemaking.blogspot.com

Just by reading her bio I think we might be kindred spirits. Yesterday she had an interesting post about homemaking styles. She asked her readers to answer a few questions about how it looks in our house. I'm feeling like this is a good area to annalyze about myself so I will take her challenge. But if you want to go and read her post first, mine will probably make more sense. Here is the link to her thoughts on the subject.

http://passionateandcreativehomemaking.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-kind-of-homemaker-are-you-link-up.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FprHKLK+%28*%29

Here is the questions she asked:

So...what does homemaking look like in your house? Share it with us!
- Who cooks?
- Who cleans?
- How does your average day look?
- What chore do you hate doing the most?
- What do you struggle with the most?
- What do you exceed at?

So I wanted to define homemaking real quick and what it means to me. First I simply switch it around to say Making Home. In order to make your home the best it can be you need to be well balanced and have good time management. Two things I struggle with on a daily basis.

#1) I would have to say homemaking looks chaotic in my house unless you are a guest that I don't feel comfortable around. If I don't know you too well I will usually pick up the house before you get there. But if you are a good friend or family member it totally depends on the day and week.

#2) I usually cook unless I decide to slack off and put my husband in charge. Last year we were in a marraige enrichment class that our church provides and one of the exercises had us write down an area that was important to you but that your spouse was slacking off in. I learned that it is very important for my husband to come home and have dinner ready. He is hungry and the kids are hungry and he does not like to come home to a chaotic house being expected to cook while kids are whinning.

This is something I am still working on. I'm not a fantastic cook and I'm extremely lazy. The meal will usually depend on which pots are clean and how much time I have. Since he got a new job that is farther away my success rate has improved because he will call me as he's leaving work which means I have a good 45 minutes to make dinner. But there are those days that I just can't handle it, either my brain is fried and I can't even follow a simple rice-a-roni box recipe (usually because of stress for something else I'm working on) or I'm really sick or tired and just don't want to be bothered. But these days have been far apart lately. So usually Saturdays and Sundays are the only days he might cook a meal.

#3) Cleaning... well growing up I was the youngest, I always got the easy chores. I was never really taught how to deep clean things and if I was, I wasn't forced to do it very often (if ever). I am blessed to have a husband that doesn't mind doing housework and helping me out. He grew up with a great work ethic and knows what has to be done (and he loves me a lot). I usually have him to everything I don't want to do. This is a big stumbling block in my progression towards a better homemaker. I don't feel capable and I have no motivation and he is always there to pick up the slack. I am slowly improving by trying to step up my actions so he doesn't feel like everything falls on him. We used to have an agreement that I would do the dishwasher dishes and he would do all the big pots and everything else that needed hand washed. But last year at some point I grew up a little bit more and decided I could handle all the dishes. And last week I scrubbed my own shower something I have never done before (maybe once as a teenager).

#4) My average day is lazy. I have a couple productive days or I might be productive for a couple hours but then I take a break and never really finish. There isn't too much structure in my day either. I have a first grader so there is a specific time he has to be ready for his ride and there is a specific time I need to load up the other 3 and go pick him up. So there is definitely potential for a schedule but it is hard for me to keep. We definitely don't have a major problem with bed time though. We make sure the kids are in bed sometime between 7 and 8 every night so that we can have our alone time. I usually have the TV on for the kids most of the day and I spend a lot of time at the computer or if I have a deadline I am in my craft room. I do host preschool 1-2 times a week but we just do puzzles or other learning games for a couple hours. I recently started getting up while my husband is in the shower (6 am-ish) and I do a short work out routine and then I get in the shower. This makes the morning and the day go so much better. We just need to work on going to bed earlier so that I don't crash for a nap by 9 or 10 am because then the rest of the day is hard.

#5) I would have to say my least favorite chore is dishes because I don't really like getting my hands wet (I know, really lame). But I would much rather wait until the sink is over flowing onto the counter before I dig in because that means that I can spend an hour and get them all done, start the dishwasher and be done for another 2 days than to rinse and load after every meal. This preference drives my mom crazy and every time she comes over she feels like she has to do my dishes for me. I've been trying to do them before she comes but it really just depends on the day. The only bad thing about my habit is if the end of that 2nd day of dishes ends up being really busy it might be 3 or 4 days before I get to it and that causes a major back up in the system. Then it becomes this huge ordeal and it's definitely hard to find the motivation and that is typically when I have to get real creative with dinner because all the pots are dirty. Unfortunately this happens more often than it should but I'm working on it.

Also laundry takes FOREVER and it's hard to get it completed in one day. I already expressed my disdain for deep cleaning. Vacuuming is the one chore I really don't mind. However in order to vacuum that means you have to have a clean floor. 2.5 years ago I was seeing a counselor. I had major anger issues and was sturggling with being a parent. She had me bring the kids to one of the sessions and when it came time to clean up she told me I couldn't do it for them. They had to do it by themselves. She offered them a sucker for when they had finished and they all worked together and got it done quickly. Now I can't offer them candy every time but I have found that when I offer them something it gets done quicker. Later that week it was grapes that did the trick. A couple months ago I offered them 1 goldfish for every 5 toys they picked up. But more often then not I just don't want to bug them about cleaning. They are getting better at it but I usually have to give them specific instructions the whole time which means it's hard for me to be productive doing something else. And if I really am just sitting or standing there slave driving them it doesn't leave good feelings for anyone.

#6) I struggle with knowing when it's ok to have personal time and when I should spend time with my kids. I like spending time on the computer and I love creating things in my craft room but even if those things are going to benefit the kids in the future I need to do them in moderation. I ignore them way too much and they aren't going to be young forever and I wish I had a good method for managing time so that I could have a schedule where 2-4 hours every day were mine but the rest of the day was spent doing things with the kids. Which means I need to be ok with doing things that I don't want to do. Like having an imagination so that I can play dolls with my daughter or being willing to crash and race cars for a half hour straight and other things like that. It's so hard for me to just sit on the floor and play with them when there are a million other things I could be doing. I know they are not as important but it's still hard for me to make the right decisions with my time.

#7) This will be the hardest one for me to answer because I don't feel like I succeed at anything. I do enjoy helping my kids learn. My oldest loves to ask questions and they drive me crazy but lately more often than not I will take the time to answer them (if they are a logical question that has an answer on his level). I worry that my daughter won't learn to ask questions for herself because he always does it for her and she still learns the answer but hopefully she won't fall behind in school like I did because I was too shy to ask questions. I do know how to plan a good party, not so hot on the carry out though. It is usually a crazy stressful day and I am usually preparing the food until an hour into the 2 hour party. But I have been trying to manage time better and set priorities on things. The last one I did ended up being a huge success and I didn't have to cut too much out of my plan because I ended up staying up all night. Looking back it was totally worth it but I will try harder to prepare more ahead of time for the next one.

Let's see what else do I exceed at? I am a great listener. I love talking to adults and I don't mind listening to their problems and being there for people. It's kind of a bummer when I feel like I have no one to turn to but I still enjoy being the listening ear. But that doesn't have much to do with Homemaking. I mentioned I like to do crafts. I'm not incredibly talented or artistic but I guess I could say that I exceed in copying other peoples work. I prefer to make things that are useful. Since I joined pinterest I have a ton of ideas added to my "I will do this some day." list. A lot of them are ideas for gifts or to make another activity for the kids. But I have been resisting the temptation to work on anything lately because I know I need to help the kids with school and keep up the basics of homemaking before I add anything else. However it almost seems pointless because I end up on the computer most of the day anyways. ARGH! I definitely exceed at waisting time.

Ok Angell that is what kind of a homemaker I am. I will look forward to finding encouragement from your blog as I work on all my shortcomings.

Goals for twenty twelve

Ok, I've always thought that New Years Resolutions were a little silly. I mean who needs to wait until the begining of the year to change or make a goal? Well I'm also a lover of new beginings and so being... I am one of those people who prefers to wait for a new day, a new week, a new month, etc. to start something new. So of course I will take advantage of the New Year to make some serious goals for myself.

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Growing up I had this vision of myself. I will be awesome and well rounded someday. Unfortunately I have no work ethic, no self discipline, no self esteem, no decision making skills and no strong personal convictions. (When I say 'no' that means not very much, but I'm sure I have some) So as the years have gone on I have gotten older, expereinced more, learned more, matured some and I have a bunch of kids. But there are rarely times when I feel like I am closer to the vision of the woman I want to be. There are those moments when I accomplish something I didn't think I could do and I look around me and say "I did a good job and I like where I am." But then the next day or week ends up to be a horrible step backwards and I can blame no one but myself. It's like I'm afraid of moving forward but I'm in love with moving forward at the same time. So confusing.

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Back to what this post is supposed to be about... my goals for this year.

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Scriptures - This has been a huge hurdle for me my whole life, I have never been able to stick with reading every day or get in a state of really studying the scriptures. But so far we have been reading scriptures with the kids every night (except 1 because John wasn't here and it totally slipped my mind) we finally made it through chapter 1 of Nephi last night. We have also read scriptures as a couple every night after the kids are in bed but before we turn on the TV. We have read the first 9 chapters of Matthew and we usually talk about a couple different points and try not to hurry through it. I know it's only been 4 nights of the new year but we are both pretty determined to keep this one up.

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Personal Prayer - This is another one that usually escapes my mind. We are really good at meal prayers and family prayer, but I hardly ever remember to have a personal conversation with my Heavenly Father and I don't like myself for it. He has given me so much and I need to put him as a priority in my life too.

Exercising/eating better - This is one that is pretty mandatory for me. I feel horribly unhealthy. I have only exercised 1 out of the 4 days but 3 out of the 4 days I have not eaten past 8:00 pm. John says he will join me after he's devoured all the junk food in the house. I do want to loose weight and look good but more importantly I want to feel good.

School - I want to have a more formal preschool with Vivian and be better with helping Michael with his homework. I have a hard time giving up 'me' time for this but it is waaaay important and if I put this as a priority, John will be happy too. This will probably require a schedule and that is something I am not good at keeping. So far this year... I have failed with this goal but today is a new day and as soon as I get my butt off the computer I will clean up the school room and make it happen.

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Teaching my kids - I would also like to do more hands on activities with them. I am a total perfectionist and control freak. I hate cleaning up messes so it's really hard for me to allow them to cook or craft but I know how important those things are for their development and I really want to get over myself and provide them with more opportunities to perform. I've already told them that we will do cooking lessons over the summer. Vivian got a Hello Kitty sewing machine for Christmas (it's a piece of crap) but I have promised her sewing lessons regardless. I have found so many ideas online for science experiments and activities to keep them busy so that is another goal of mine.

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Family Home Evening/ Temple - So just like my non existent prayer and scripture reading habits we are also very patchy with FHE and going to the Temple. Our goal is to attend the temple once a month and of course to have FHE every Monday night.

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OK, so those are all the really important goals I have for myself but I also have some other ones. These are the ones that I'm slightly more excited about but need to keep my priorities in check.

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Crafting - So around Thanksgiving I figured out what I want to be when I grow up, and since I'm already an adult, I can pretty much do it now. I want to be a craft blogger and own an Etsy shop.

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At various points over the last 8 years (since I was 18) I have inherited, been given or been placed in charge of storing different craft materials from my mom, my MIL and other various sources. Then last year I went a little crazy with going to the dollar store, JoAnns or Michaels and spent WAAAAAY too much money on intended future projects. I am also fairly green and I don't like to throw things away or recycle them if I can reuse or re-purpose them myself. All this has resulted in a huge mess of craft stuff. John was getting pretty frustrated with all of it and does not want me to turn into my mother. (Not that my mother is a bad person but she has craft stuff all over her house and usually takes on too many projects at once resulting in stress and chaos.)

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When we moved into this house, he insisted that the den was an office and I insisted it was a craft room. For a long time it was both, he did not think I needed a whole room for my crafts and he's probably right. But I was the youngest kid in my family and am therefore labeled as "a spoiled brat" and that is because I can usually talk and whine and complain enough until I get what I want. So we were finally able to compromise and come up with a better arrangement of furniture and I think it was late October when we moved the computer out of the craft room. I did a bunch of organizing but it wasn't complete until right before Christmas. My FIL had just given us a huge desk, it took us a good week to figure out how to arrange the room so that it would fit but we finally managed. Then of course I used it to get a few last minute Christmas projects finished. But after Christmas was over I cleaned everything up (not just by moving it over but by finding or making a home fore everything withing the room.) So I am starting out this year with an organized craft room and a huge working area to use.

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Since my goal is to own an Etsy shop I need to make things in bulk (which I'm great at, the first one is the hard part). I want to start out by finishing projects that are already in the works. I have over 20 of them (probably over 30). Then I have a list of projects that I already have the materials for. Then I have 18 boards on Pinterest with (so far) 548 pins in them of things I would like to make in the future. I would also like to have Christmas in July and really make all the stuff that I wanted to this last year but didn't have time for. One of which is a compilation of several different advent ideas.

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Cooking - I'm not very adventurous when it comes to food. I have a few recipies I use again and again but mostly it's Rice a Roni or something of the sort that is the base of my dinners. I would like to branch out and try new recipies to add to our regular menu.

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Food Storage - This was a huge focus for us a couple years ago and fortunately we had people living with us that helped out with food purchases and I was able to fill my cupboards quite nicely and keep them that way. However they have been gone for over a year and my cupboards are starting to look quite sad. Obviously I have not put a priority on this in my budget but I need to. Also I have a huge back yard and even though I am not a fan of gardening... I love canning and preserving food so I should probably gear myself up for the work this summer and fill the multitude of mason jars that I possess.

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So lots of good worthy goals just like every year where I get so overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. However I'm trying not to get overwhelmed by taking things slow. Obviously the top section takes priority over the bottom section but even that feels like a lot. I think the important thing is to hold myself accountable but not beat myself up when I miss something. I heard about a good self esteem habit is to write down everything that you have done that day... instead of making lists of all the things that need done tomorrow. I've tried it a couple times and it did make me feel good.

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What are some of your new goals? What are some of your methods for doing the things I'm working on?

I need your oppinion!

Ever since we bought this house one of my huge pet peeves has been the walls. They are just sooooo dirty. There is crayon, dirt, footprints, fingerprints, food, smashed bugs, etc. It's just gross. But any time we try to wipe it off we end up rubbing the texture off as well. Needless to say the builders did not used primer or any type of high quality anything on the walls.

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So now with 3 boys and 1 girl and Michael and Vivian getting too old to share a room we decided we needed to put all the boys in one room and Vivian in her own room. But we are a little concerned about her being ok by herself. So we decided we would have to really make it a girl room with an actual place for all her girl toys. (There has never been a real area for girl things)

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One day I brought up this to them and asked Vivian how she felt about having her own room and how Michael felt about sharing a room with Theodore and eventually Lawrence. Vivian got all excited about a pink room with Rapunzel toys. I don't know about the Rapunzel toys but I can do Pink. Then at the last church swap I found a 5 foot tall castle that will stick on the wall. Pretty cool. Then Michael decided he wanted a Space room. He wanted the whole room painted black and I said, "NO!!! But we can paint the ceiling dark blue and the walls light blue for the sky."

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This whole conversation happened at least 4 months ago and it is all I have really been able to think about. John and I started something different with our money so that I actually have control over how some of it is spent. Plus I have still been doing the vending for my dad so I started saving and putting money aside until I finally had enough for paint. So now the project begins.

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Since the walls were so horrible and cheaply done we needed to do this right. So Conference weekend, John and I primed the walls. Then on Wednesday I put some tape up to prepare for painting the ceiling. I decided to just jump into it and get the corners done. (I don't think I have enough muscle power for the roller, so that is waiting for John to do) So here are the pictures of the room so far. I am including the top 3 inches of the wall into the space part because I didn't want to have to paint in the corners twice with each color. I figured it is a lot easier to only have one color in that region.

Oh yeah and John wanted the closet frame and the window frame painted with the dark blue as well. It is actually turning out a lot darker than I expected but oh well I'm sure not taking it back and starting over.

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I thought I would also share with you my vision for the room and then the problems I am still trying to work out. So you know the basic colors of the room... dark on the ceiling and lighter sky blue for the rest of the room. My vision is to have planets and stars painted on the ceiling. Maybe a shuttle, a couple rockets, some comets, a tiny astronaut somewhere. Michael insists that Earth, Mars and Saturn are up there. I am still debating on if I am just going to have all this random up there or create some type of order. Like if I pretend the ceiling fan is the sun I could put all the planets in their correct orbit order around it but that sounds like a lot of measuring but it would help him learn it right I guess. (I don't even know or remember the correct order) And I thought about using the 3 inches of wall space to just do a border of stars evenly spaced around the whole room but if the rest of the ceiling is random I'm not sure how this will look.

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What is your oppinion: Should I put the planets in order? Should I do an even border of stars (stars would be about 1.5" wide and probably 2 inches in between each one) around the room?

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Then on the wall I wanted to paint a couple airplanes and other air vehicles as well as a few random clouds and such here and there and out of the back of one of the airplanes I want to pretend like it wrote words in the sky and it will say "Oh the places you'll go" in cloud letters. Also above where the crib will go is a huge area to decorate so I thought about a fleet of hot air balloons. The ones closer to the crib would be about 10-12 inches tall and closer to the ceiling they would be 1-2 inches tall. I also have one of those color your own posters, (the kind with the black velvet) of a carnival scene that I was planning on framing in there but I'm not sure if it will really fit in anymore.

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I was also considering painting a border of clouds right against the space line. That way I could leave the tape there, paint the light blue underneath it and then after I move the tape I could use white paint to create a solid border of clouds. I guess this would end up being an atmosphere border between earth and space. It seems like a smart idea but it sounds like it would look a little cheesy but not too bad.

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What is your oppinion: Should I still put the carnival poster up since I've already colored it? Should I use the tape line to create a border of clouds?

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So this is my vision but I do have a small issue to consider... I am not an artist. In my head it looks so cool and good. But in reality I don't have the ability to make it happen. I have heard of using an overhead projector to project the image on the wall and then you can trace it the size you want and then paint it in but I have a feeling that I will not be very good at that. I am an expert colorer. I can stay in the lines and win a coloring contest no problem. But when it comes to using paint and a paint brush it is a different story. So I have a few different ways I could carry this out.

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Method #1: Stick on Decals. I don't like this idea because we will have bunk beds in the room and they will be able to reach and probably pull off and ruin it. Plus they are expensive.

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Method #2: I could print pictures from home and color them. (This would tie in with what I am doing for Vivian's room) or I could use someones color printer and print them in color. Then I would cut the images out and decoupage them to the wall. I'm not sure if this method will look good with the texture of the wall and someone pointed out it may be hard to remove for future uses of the room.

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Method #3: I have a few stencils already, basic planets and stars. And I can make stencils out of laminate. If it's a stencil I am using I can just tape it to the wall and paint the different sections the right colors. Which may require at least 2 stencils per picture, one of the big shape cut out to get the basic color of the item on the wall and then one with the details cut out so I could add the appropriate accents in the appropriate colors. This method may be the best option for me but it will take a lot of time (preparation of stencils, taping and painting and drying and painting again). The pictures will turn out to be basic images like in a kids book (which may not be a bad thing)

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What is your oppinion: Which method should I use?

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Now onto a different kind of problem. One area I want to set up is a dress up station. My kids have a lot of dress up stuff and I need it to be more organized. I will have an area in Vivian's room for the more girly stuff but I have a bunch that is more boyish that I would like to put in the boys room. The only wall space I will have available is right under the window and inside the closet. I will need a small shelf to put all the accessories on, long hooks for hats and hooks for clothes. For example, I have a fireman coat and a heavy plastic fireman hat, a construction hat, an ironman mask, a cowboy hat and fancy top hats. I have a doctors smock with a stethescope, construction tools, sunglasses, magnifying glasses. All the hats require a hook that would stick out at least 3 inches and preferably point upwards. They have those hooks one for a jacket and one for a hat. Those would probably be ideal but cheap ones look kinda cheesy. I did buy 8 knobs that stick out about an inch and a half but they are designed for knobs on a dresser or cupboard not hooks that go straight on the wall like I thought. These knobs would work for hanging all the other clothes items if I can figure out how to get them on the wall. I do have quite a bit of scrap wood as a resource but not sure of what to build it into.

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What is your oppinion: What could I use or build (with limited funds) to hang my hats and organize the dress up stuff?

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I really want feedback on this. I might not be able to incorporate everyones ideas but I still need more ideas than I can come up with by myself. Like I said, I've been thinking about this almost nonstop for the last few months and now that I am ready to do it, I need to decide the best way to carry out my vision. Thanks so much for your time and help.

Quilts

The last weekend of January was the Modesto Quilt Show. My mom gets a booth there so she can sell all her creations. Well the week before that, I was feeling pretty crafty so I went all crazy and made 7 quilt tops and a bunch (at least 20) of tiny quilts out of all the scraps. Well I had made soo much that actually finishing any of it became a challenge. Before the quilt show I was able to finish 1 quilt (my first binding experience) and about 5 Baby Tag toys (out of the tiny quilts) I don't have any pictures of the Tag Toys but I did finish 3 more of the quilts before the Manteca Quilt show that was the first weekend of March.

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Here is quilt number one, Lime green with purple polka dots and blue accents. With a blue and white striped fabric as the back. I used dark purple floss to tie it.

Here is quilt #2 made out of the leftovers from Vivian's quilt I made last year. I used a pink floral satin for the back and dark pink yarn for the ties.

Here is quilt #3 Orange and yellow with green and pink accents with a dark orange fleece for the back. I used green yarn to tie this one.

Here is a baby doll quilt I also made out of the leftovers from Vivian's quilt. (This I made shortly after finishing hers but never got a picture of it until now.)

Here is the quilt I had finished in January. My mom actually quilted this one on her big machine using a meandering pattern. The back is a landscape of a town and my first binding experience was far less than perfect but it's still sturdy and finished.

I had a lot of fun and one of these days I will finish the rest of them. None of them sold at the quilt shows so if you are interested in any of them... Just let me know. The first 3 are $25 and the green one my mom sold to someone later for $40.

Debt

My parents have been going to this finance class on Wednesday nights at a Presbyterian church in Manteca. They wanted us to join them for it but it's $100 and however many nights of a commitment and we just decided not to. However this week it was bring a friend night so we decided, why not, it's just one night and it will be fun to have a double date with my parents.

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The class is by Dave Ramsey. He has a radio show, a couple books and a program (manual, Cd's, DVDs, website resources) for how to get out of debt. This particular lesson was about the myths that are spread around in society today and he was straitening them out with the truths.

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Some of the myth's were about car financing. He said on his radio show that the answer to half of the people that call in is to sell their car. Why pay so many hundred a month when you could just have an older car for a couple years while you save up for a nicer one? The money your spending on your car payment could go towards paying down your debt and once you are debt free there are a million things to do with that money, guilt free.

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He also talked a lot about how the credit card companies are REALLY good at what they are doing. He said it is kinda fascinating in an evil way. But they know just how to make you beg for money. They will send you and your grandma and your dog (really, he had proof of an offer that went to this guys dog that had been dead for 4 years) an offer that says, "You may be approved for up to $100,000!" So you go to the bank or go online and apply (beg) to be approved.

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He said that in our great grandparents generation, it was a sin to buy with credit. It was frowned upon. Sears, JCPenny and Ford would not allow credit options in the early 1900's. He said those company's started offering credit after their original founders had passed away because they had been so against it.

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Another myth was about the lottery. He said the truth is it is just a tax on the poor and the people who can't do math. If someone spends $50 a month on lottery tickets, they expect to win something. But if they were to put that $50 a month in a mutual savings account then including interest and all that you will be a millionaire within your lifetime. (I can't remember exactly how many years he said for it to get there but it is true)

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Another myth was that 30 year mortgages are good. Typically we sign up for them thinking, "Oh I will pay it off sooner than that. I'll make extra payments and it will be fine." But life happens and that extra payment is the first to go. But if you sign up for a 15 year mortgage it only adds a few hundred to your payments but it will save you over $100,000 in interest.

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There was about 10-15 myths but I can't remember all of them. I do remember the last one but I will save that for the end. He also talked about how he took a finance class in college from a professor who was broke just like everyone else. He said, "That's like taking shop from a guy with no fingers." Obviously they don't practice what they preach right? Or they don't even know what to preach because they don't live it.

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He said if you want to be a finance major, study Proverbs. He said he reads a Proverb every night and one night he came across Proverbs 6:1-7. I just looked it up and it must be a little different in his scriptures versus our King James version. But from his opinion it is talking about if you are in debt your stupid and you need to deliver yourself from the hunter like a gazelle from the cheetah or a bird from the falcon.

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He said when he came across that he was confused, what does a gazelle and a bird have to do with debt. But the very next night he was flipping through the TV and stopped on the discovery channel. (Not sure how much is true or if he was just dramatizing his story) but he proceeded to show a clip of a cheetah approaching a mom and a baby gazelle in a flat plain. The gazelle started running long before the cheetah was close (they have a cheetah sensor) and they were pretty fast. I mean the cheetah is supposed to be the fastest animal around and this gazelle was faster. The cheetah decided to go after the little one thinking he could get him. But that little guy ran and ran and eventually the cheetah gave up.

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He was relating the cheetah to the debtors and the gazelle to the few of us willing to run away. He said the little one was a college student because more college kids quit school because of debt rather than academic failure.

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He said some of us pray at night saying, "Jesus I am so in debt, I don't know what I'm gonna do, Please help me Jesus, Help me." Then the next day you go out to the mailbox and get a credit card offer and say, "Thank you Jesus." When we really should say... "CHEETAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and run away as fast as we can.

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But like he said, the credit card company's really know what they are doing. Then he told another story about how cow's are tied at the rodeo and how the cowboy lets it run and then ropes it's neck and it falls on it's back and the cowboy jumps on it and ties it's feet. He said, The girls can't do this because cow's are just too big, so they do the same thing with a goat.

~~~

His children wanted to do it too. So he bought them a goat. They named it Practice because they were using it to practice. So they would open the gate and let Practice run and they would follow behind on the horse, rope it, flip it and tie it. They did it about 15 times a day for the whole summer. Practice got to a point where he would come to the clearing where they usually flipped him and he would just lay down and wait. He had done it so many times that he didn't want to fight it anymore.

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We do the same thing with debt. We just give in thinking it's the only way. "You'll always have a car payment" some people say. Or "Everyone else does it, that's just the way it is." But there is another way. If you just run as fast as the gazelle and get away from the cheetah, or run past that clearing where you always get stuck then you might be able to make it.

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The last myth he stated was that Debt is a Tool to get ahead. The truth is that you are a slave to the master(card) and until you get free you will always be tied up and limited in your abilities. You have to figure out what everyone else is doing, and do the exact opposite. If everyone is financing cars, then you pay cash. If everyone is getting a 30 year mortgage, you get one for 15. If everyone is making minimum payments on their credit card, you pay more.

~~~

For Dave Ramsey's program the first baby step is to get $1000 in the bank for emergencies then cut up your credit cards. The second baby step is to pay off your debt in what he referred to as the debt snowball. It is the same format the church recommends. Where you line up all your debts from smallest to largest then you pay off the smallest (he recommends with a garage sale) and then once that is paid off you put what you were paying to that one and add it to your payment for the next smallest one. Once that is paid off you take what you were paying for the first 2 and add it to the 3rd debt. And so on down the list.

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He said it takes the average person 2 years to get out of debt using this method but it does depend on the size of your debt. And he recommends you put a "Gazelle effort" into it which means cutting other things out and putting everything you have (aside from the mandatory bills) into paying off that debt as quickly as possible. If you cut out the fast food trips or going to the movies or buying new clothes or another pair of shoes or another video game. Whatever your weakness may be, give it up for awhile and you apply that money to whatever debt you are tackling at the time then you will be debt free in less than the average person and when you have freed up all of that money that was going towards paying off debt then you will be able to eat out every day and see a movie whenever you want and buy as many clothes and video games because you will have the extra cash to do it.

~~~

Speaking of cash, he made a good point about it. They did a study on peoples brains when they spend money. If they use cash, it registers as pain in their head and they usually thought twice about what they were buying. If you use a debit card it registered as less pain but you are still associating it with cash sitting in a bank. But when you use credit, the pain was substantially less. Interesting huh?

~~~

He said using cash hurts because you know you will never see it again. It hurts to say goodbye to a Benjamin ($100 bill). But don't we always say, "No pain, no gain." If using cash is going to make you think twice about what you are buying then I think we should always use cash. Which also means you have to have it in hand and if you have cash in your hand then your bills are already paid right???? (at least that's how it should be)

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So if everyone is charging things then you should pay cash and if everyone is in debt then you should get out of debt. Most people just work one job and go play after work. If you take a year or so and get an extra part time job to pay off your debt that means working harder than normal for a little while then when your debt is paid off you will have more money and more time to play harder than most people. So if you work like no one does now, then later you will be able to work like no one else. (meaning less hours to pay your bills.)

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Also if you take your extra cash flow and invest it wisely then you can have your money working for you instead of you working for your money. Also, we know you can't dig your way out of a hole. You have to climb.

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If you live like no one else does now, then later you will be able to live like no one else.

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Get out of Debt!!!

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Obviously I am just like the broke finance professor and I need to listen to what I am preaching and follow it as well. But I thought this would be useful information to share even before I have lived it. I hope some of you will join us in cutting credit cards and participating (with a gazelle effort) in the debt snowball payoff.

Stress

When a lecturer was explaining stress management to an audience, he raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.

It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued,

"And that's the way it is with stress management.

If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, As the burden become increasingly heavy, We won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now,

Let them down for a moment if you can."

~~~

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

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Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some day's you're the statue.

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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

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Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

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Drive carefully. It's not only the cars that can be "Recalled" by their maker.

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If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

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If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, It was probably worth it.

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It may be that your sole purpose in life is to be kind to others.

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Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

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Nobody cares it you can't dance well, just get up and dance.

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When everything's coming your way, You're in the worng lane.

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Birthday's are good for you. The more you have the longer you live.

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You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

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Some mistakes are too fun to only make once.

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We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

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A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

~~~

Parenting

Yesterday we went to our Business Regional Seminar. The millionaire couple that spoke to us this time was amazing - Bob and Shelly Kummer. I learned a lot more about the business and where I need to change myself but I know no one who reads this is going to care about that stuff. However he did share a story with us that I think you might enjoy.

He has a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old son that they adopted (I think at birth). Anyways, the daughter has been doing things lately that weren't really like her to do. They have obviously tried to raise her right and didn't think she should be behaving like this so at the suggestion of other millionaires in the business Bob took his daughter to a ranch in northern California. It is called JH Ranch in Etna, CA. They have Student Programs, Parent/ Child Programs and Couples Programs. He said it was like $2,000 for the week but that it was AWESOME. They were obviously there for the Parent/Child Program where the counselors there really helped them talk things out and get at the heart of the problem. But he shared with us one of their teachings...

Picture yourself on a beach in Southern California with your children. When they are ages 0 to 5 you have to keep a very Close eye on them. They have to stay in the shallow water to be protected from the currents and other dangers of the ocean. Then from ages 5 to 13 they get to take these little sailboats out and they get to explore a little farther. You become the Cop. You have to enforce the rules pretty tight so that they don't wander too far in such a small boat or tip it over. From ages 14 to 18 you become the Coach. They no longer need such strict rules but they do need someone to guide them through the waters. They need your support and advice so that when they turn 18 they know how to sail that ship. After that... you become the Consultant, only there when needed.

I thought that was fairly profound. The problem with him and his daughter was that he was still trying to be a Cop. He didn't realize that she was becoming a women and that she needed more freedom to make her own choices but she still needs to be taught and mentored about life and to prepare for what is to come.

I think in this world today we need more coaches for our Youth. They need to have strong mentors and examples around them to teach them the ways of the world. School isn't going to do it. Video games, TV, Computer, My Space, texting, Ipods. Those are what are Youth are paying attention to because no one cares. None of those things can teach them how to be successful in life. If parents (or someone) were to actually take some time each day to share with their children what they have learned in life... To share our mistakes and our successes and our feelings and testimonies... This world would be so much better. And don't do it in a preachy manner or lecture them, they won't listen. What you have to do before they will listen to you is to listen to them.

People don't care how much you know... Until they know how much you care!!!

They need someone they can trust to share their hopes and fears with. After you have earned that trust and truly listened to what they are asking for then you can mentor them.