Parenting

Yesterday we went to our Business Regional Seminar. The millionaire couple that spoke to us this time was amazing - Bob and Shelly Kummer. I learned a lot more about the business and where I need to change myself but I know no one who reads this is going to care about that stuff. However he did share a story with us that I think you might enjoy.

He has a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old son that they adopted (I think at birth). Anyways, the daughter has been doing things lately that weren't really like her to do. They have obviously tried to raise her right and didn't think she should be behaving like this so at the suggestion of other millionaires in the business Bob took his daughter to a ranch in northern California. It is called JH Ranch in Etna, CA. They have Student Programs, Parent/ Child Programs and Couples Programs. He said it was like $2,000 for the week but that it was AWESOME. They were obviously there for the Parent/Child Program where the counselors there really helped them talk things out and get at the heart of the problem. But he shared with us one of their teachings...

Picture yourself on a beach in Southern California with your children. When they are ages 0 to 5 you have to keep a very Close eye on them. They have to stay in the shallow water to be protected from the currents and other dangers of the ocean. Then from ages 5 to 13 they get to take these little sailboats out and they get to explore a little farther. You become the Cop. You have to enforce the rules pretty tight so that they don't wander too far in such a small boat or tip it over. From ages 14 to 18 you become the Coach. They no longer need such strict rules but they do need someone to guide them through the waters. They need your support and advice so that when they turn 18 they know how to sail that ship. After that... you become the Consultant, only there when needed.

I thought that was fairly profound. The problem with him and his daughter was that he was still trying to be a Cop. He didn't realize that she was becoming a women and that she needed more freedom to make her own choices but she still needs to be taught and mentored about life and to prepare for what is to come.

I think in this world today we need more coaches for our Youth. They need to have strong mentors and examples around them to teach them the ways of the world. School isn't going to do it. Video games, TV, Computer, My Space, texting, Ipods. Those are what are Youth are paying attention to because no one cares. None of those things can teach them how to be successful in life. If parents (or someone) were to actually take some time each day to share with their children what they have learned in life... To share our mistakes and our successes and our feelings and testimonies... This world would be so much better. And don't do it in a preachy manner or lecture them, they won't listen. What you have to do before they will listen to you is to listen to them.

People don't care how much you know... Until they know how much you care!!!

They need someone they can trust to share their hopes and fears with. After you have earned that trust and truly listened to what they are asking for then you can mentor them.